Carry On: Discovering Resilience & Joy in Your Darkest Moments

Deborah Fletcher-

We all face challenges in our lives from time to time. You might not be able to control everything that happens in your life, but you can control how you react to things. This means accepting that some things will go wrong, and learning to cope with those situations.

Ep. 85

What do you do when life doesn’t turn out the way you thought it would?

My guest, Deborah Fletcher and I will explore the power of resilience and joy. 

When life delivers those dark moments, how do we respond?  Many of us stumble through and even push away from change, but it is in that change where we see the growth and discover a new path to peace. 

Deborah received an invaluable message from her dad that got her through her challenges with her daughter’s diagnosis with severe disabilities .  She is here to inspire us to thrive and to find hope and acceptance of our situation. 

“Why me? Why her? I eventually just got to the point where I thought to myself, well, why not me? Why not her? Good things don’t always happen to good people. It is pretty random and so just appreciating that bad things can happen and good things can happen. Let’s just appreciate the good things when they happen and try and sail through the bad things with as much humor and acceptance and looking on the bright side of things.”

Her recent book was inspired by her dad and the stories of how he lived life with grace and the lessons she learned all which became the foundation for “Finding Your HEY!: A Crash Course in Braving Grief and Embracing Joy”.

Resilience is the ability to bounce back after experiencing hardship. It’s also known as “the capacity for positive adaptation in the face of adversity.”

Joy is an emotion that comes from within us. It is up to us to see the smallest moments as blessings and feel grateful.

Deb had the opportunity to choose how she would approach change, challenges, and grief associated with loss and disappointment. She didn’t recognize it at the time, but she was developing a set of tools which helped her through.  She now inspires other people to thrive and find hope, acceptance, peace, and purpose.

There are different ways we can feel joy in the face of adversity.  Deb mentioned how valuable humor and being able to laugh at a situation is. She also focused on activities that raised her emotional state, like laughter yoga and fundraising events.

No one is exempt from troubles in life. We all have the opportunity to see things in 2 ways. You can go to the negative or you can see the positive. Sometimes it is a stretch, but you get to choose.

You can connect with Deborah: 

Website DeborahCovell.com and on Instagram @DeborahLCovell 

Her brand new book on Amazon  – Finding Your HEY!: A Crash Course in Braving Grief and Embracing Joy.

Deb shares her story of having twin daughters. One was born with severe disabilities, including cerebral palsy due to a lack of oxygen at birth. She wrote a journal through the whole experience and speaks to a definite “before” and “after, as well as feelings of failure in motherhood.

Deb mentions the experience of watching her dad go through a heart attack and stroke when she was 21. Never being able to work again, he handled the situation with grace and gratitude for everything he did have. Deb mentions how much humor and being able to laugh at a situation are valuable. She also focuses on activities that raise your emotional state, like laughter yoga and fundraising events.

Deb and Lorie mention the natural tendency to respond to change in a negative way. A change can spur grieving the old version of you before embracing a new version of you. They touch on resilience around loss and/or loss of expectation to carry your grief easier.

Lorie discusses peaks and valleys; how heavy challenges make celebration much sweeter. Deb explains the joy of her daughter being able to send a text message for the first time. Appreciating moments allows her to live more joyously, acknowledging bad and good things that happen to everyone.

Deb finally talks about her book, “Finding Your Hey”. She tells the story of the inspiration behind the title, only being able to understand the word “hey” from her dad after his stroke.

More about Deb:

Much to my surprise and delight, an illuminating ultrasound 18 weeks into my pregnancy revealed two little girls inhabiting the murky waters of my tummy (yes, I know tummy is not the medically accurate term). Recently married, loving my career, and living in my dream home purchased just two years prior, I found myself even more excited with (and terrified of) giving birth.

You know when things are going well in life and suddenly you are thrown a curveball that you just manage to catch with the tip of your glove, fumbling and tripping through the dirt, before landing on your face, glove held high, mumbling “I’m OK”?

That was me in July 1999 when I gave birth to my girls prematurely. One of my identical twin daughters was born with multiple disabilities and all my hopes and dreams were lost forever.

Or were they?

Amid grief for my daughter, the challenges in caring for her, lamenting the demise of my career to accommodate her medical appointments, interventions, and needs, as well as mourning the loss of my future expectations, I managed to find hope, joy, happiness, and purpose.

I found my HEY!

I realized I had the opportunity to choose how I approach change, challenges, and grief associated with loss, disappointment, and unmet expectations. I didn’t recognize it at the time, but I was cultivating a set of tactics and tools which helped me and can help inspire other people to thrive and find hope, acceptance, peace, and purpose.

Connect with me to discover your own strength and resilience and live a life designed with hope and joy. Come and find your HEY!

Deborah Covell Fletcher is an adult educator, author, speaker, and mom of twin daughters. She also works as a realtor, which supports her obsession with snooping through other people’s homes. 

As a busy mom and advocate for her daughter who lives with multiple disabilities, Deb found the time to jot down stories, lessons learned, and inadvertent observations – most of which found their way into “Finding Your HEY!”.

In Deb’s free time she gardens, dances like everyone’s watching, and chases the ice cream truck down the street.

Remember~ Stay Anchored ⚓

Listen to this important episode to hear more.

How do you sail through life? Join me on this endeavor! I would love to grow this amazing support community!

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